Why I Stopped Being Overly Supportive

One of the hardest things I’ve learned and accepted over the last year is the fact that you cannot mix business with pleasure. Well, I don’t know about you but I for sure cannot. I notice everything and I always end up feeling a way when I see people I’m cool with supporting everybody except for me. Not a like, not a share, not a comment, not a nothing but a follower that needs to be removed. This has been something I’ve battled with ever since I started blogging nearly six years ago and started my business in June of 2019. I don’t know why my emotional ass thought I was going to be able to keep my heart out of things, but I wasn’t successful with that part. That was until I realized my support wasn’t and still isn’t going to come from too many people that I know, family or friends.

To be someone who’s very limited in those I call “friend”, I felt like my followers grew pretty rapidly with my first business account. Some business owners I didn’t know definitely helped me build my followers up and I’ll always be grateful for that. I feel like having so many followers at the time helped me notice things early on like how most people only follow for a follow back, the secret competition even from those who aren’t doing what I am and how most people want support but don’t feel a need to give any whether they ask for it or notI feel like supporting others is necessary and also the only way you’ll get support in return – unless someone is just that nice and doesn’t care for your support. It did take me a while to show support in the simplest ways in the beginning – such as likes and shares – but once I started, I stopped feeling bad about not supporting those who haven’t supported me at all. Especially when it comes to my business and blogging because those are two very important things to me.

I follow a plethora of people, read a lot of blogs and am actually amazed at how relatable, helpful and educational a lot of people’s blogs are. And don’t get me started on the dope artwork, jewelry and clothes. However, I can’t help but notice no matter how much I like, comment, subscribe and share the majority of those people don’t do any of the four for me at all (and I’m not just talking about in return). I’m cool with the share for share and follow for follow here and there, but that has started to get on my nerves too. I just want to know why the only time you support me is when you’re doing a post of basically, I owe you’s? They’re a great way to get exposure and they’re also a great way to get bypassed too depending on what number in line you are for that exchange. It doesn’t matter what it’s for because trying to get recognition will always be hard when you’re the only one going hard for you. 

BLOGGING

Writing is something I absolutely love to do and probably the only thing in life I haven’t quit on – aside from my actual responsibilities. Even when I find myself in a funk or having writer’s block, something brings me back to either my laptop or pen and paper. What’s become frustrating is that I’ve found myself following so many other bloggers and in so many blogging groups, taking all the tips and showing support yet I’m still getting none in return. The hardest part isn’t even me promoting myself at this point it’s most of these groups I’m in that are supposed to help me and outside of the days I promote myself nobody is going out of their way to visit my blog. I don’t even care about the comments half the time because it’s not always easy to comment on every post even if you do like it. But liking and/or sharing post definitely helps out. At this point blogging has become more of a job where I have to knock on doors for signatures, but they’re subscribers instead – which was an actual job for me right after I graduated high school. I understand that every single post won’t be relatable to every single person, but there’s something for everybody and that share goes a long way.

BUSINESS

It’s been a year and some change now and I can’t seem to get off of this rollercoaster ride with my business. I’m not making money like I used to which means I’m not stocking up like I used to. It’s hard to keep making myself believe that someone will purchase from me each morning that I try to get up with a positive mindset. And I’m tired of being supported by those who literally only support me when they’re benefiting from something I’m doing for them in return. I love making jewelry and finding new pendants and charms and coming up with new ideas. But it’s hard to share anything when my products are only reaching my followers. You ever seen the, “Ways you can support a small business (without purchasing)” post? If you haven’t I’ll leave it for you below.

I don’t care what anybody says YOU NEED A LEGIT SUPPORT SYSTEM TO GET YOUR WORK NOTICED. It can be people that you do or don’t know. It just has to be people that are willing to share your work for their followers – and possibly more – to see. BUT DON’T FORGET THAT YOU HAVE TO KEEP PROMOTING YOURSELF NO MATTER WHO IS OR ISN’T HELPING YOU. One thing about me is I’m an open person so I don’t mind getting to know complete strangers and through this I’ve learned how important making connections is. And I’m not talking about a “I’ll tell you where to get that from cheaper” connection although those are good too, but I’m talking getting to know people. I like to call them support buddies because they’re literally looking for the support that I am so they’re willing to give it. I know I said it before but it’s too relevant to not say again that the majority of your support is going to come from people you don’t know. The help and support brought my way is appreciated and doesn’t go unnoticed.

This is actually something I tweeted on August 10, 2020 and decided to use it as a quote for encouragement.

I have truly slighted myself in both the business and blogging world. I was spending money in hopes of money being spent with me in return. I was going out my way to make sure that people knew that those were good businesses and I made sure I did legit reviews. I kept subscribing to blogs and commenting and resharing, but I can’t anymore. All that time I was too busy trying to be good to others I was lacking serious inventory and support for my own stuff. That money I was spending with others, I should’ve been putting into my own business. I wasn’t even selling certain pieces because I saw others were selling them before me. I wasn’t posting content because I saw others posted my next idea or something similar. But what I’ve come to realize is that there aren’t too many things someone else isn’t already doing because everybody is going to make their money and get those supporters regardless of how many people are doing what they already are or are thinking about doing. That mindset is the exact one I need to have from here on out. With that being said follow my businesss page, Boldly by Khy Ye, and subscribe to my blog if you haven’t already. I’d greatly appreciate it.

I always want to ask my friends where their support for me is because there’s only two that actually follow my business. Being as though I can see who they follow I ask myself why they can’t shop with me because I make waistbeads and bracelets just like the businesses they follow. I can get what they need just like others and then some. I guess the word “friend” is what leaves that door open for me to care. I don’t know if I feel that makes us less of friends, but it makes me feel some type of way for sure. I have to make my money just like them and anybody running a business or out here grindin’ in general should be able to understand that. I’ve said this a million times before and I’ll continue saying it, I am on a journey of growth and I’m starting to do things the way I want. I’m doing things when they feel right. I saw how I allowed my heart to legit get in the way of what I already knew not to expect. So, I stopped referring businesses unasked, I stopped asking about new products, I even got to the point where I stopped sharing people’s businesses and blogs in my random shout-outs in my IG story. And I don’t feel bad about that anymore either. These were simple nice gestures that I had to stop because I was only going to continue getting my hopes up and being left disappointed because I was always waiting for some sort of support in return.

I wish every creator the best – writer, business owner, artist, musician, jewelry maker, chef, etc. – and always will. I am grateful for the lessons you all teach me and I continuously learn new things daily – good and bad – even though I know I still have so much more to learn. I’m putting more money, time and energy into bettering my crafts one step at a time. I’ll never change who I am so I’ll continue my shout-outs, but I’ll only support who I want to and not because somebody is nice to me or I feel like I have to in order to prove that I support them. You’ll know the name Khy Ye when you see it because I show support even if it’s just a like.

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