I went back and forth on a word to use with “burgeon” because of its definition. I mean just about anything can grow from an insect to grass to people to flowers, but I wanted something that fits me right now and who I want to become. I know it sounds weird but, keep reading you’ll understand. I don’t always feel like a flower or sunshine or even a living being some days. Growth is about the only thing that I feel resonates with me the most, especially within these last few months so I had to go with something that meant I would/could continue to grow and what better than a seed? As you saw by definition, part of the word burgeon means to “begin to grow” and what does a seed do when properly cared for? It begins to grow. I don’t want to get all technical, but I have to mention that the life of a plant begins with (or from) a seed. Once it begins its growth, the more you give that plant proper care it begins to flourish into something beautiful. I have to give myself proper care in order to maintain my growth, but what happens when I feel stuck?
If you have plants, I’m sure that you’ve repotted a few before. The plant is no longer that tiny little seed, but I still see it as so. Why? Well, think about why people separate plants and repot them. They’ve grown too big for the pot, too many pieces have formed into one and it’s falling over, or the roots are coming out at the bottom and have matted so you have no choice but to repot. There’s simply not enough space for all of that growth. Although, you should not repot plants often, it’s still something that will more than likely need to be done (overtime) or your plant will continue to show stress through saggy leaves and poor growth overall. It’s like being stressed out by people in life but a human shows exhaustion amongst other things. In my life I’ve learned the importance of repotting myself from my time, my energy, my mindset and even my view on certain people and things. However, unlike a plant I can repot myself as many times as I see necessary so that I don’t stunt my growth. I get to remove myself from those people, places, and things and go somewhere that makes me feel free again. Somewhere that gives me room to bloom without distraction and negativity.
I consider myself a seed each time I gain more knowledge of who I am and who I want to become because it’s a fresh start. New knowledge, new understanding(s) and new meanings help me form new purpose in my life. I find new ground, new sunshine, new moisture, new meaning, new life. I know that I can continue from where I am, but I prefer a fresh start. It’s like I’m allowing those brown, crinkly leaves that fall off due to improper care to just be. I’m not trying to save them because, to me, they’re not meant to be saved. It feels like I’m leaving the old me behind and accepting who and what couldn’t grow with me. I’ve learned about this detachment I have within myself which also doesn’t allow me to not start over. When I’m not feeling something, I allow myself to accept and encourage that feeling in place of fighting it. That’s why I change my number, that’s why I have new accounts, that’s why I stopped talking to people I’ve known for years, and that’s why I stay to myself a lot more now. I don’t expect people to stop asking, “Why you change your number again?” or “Why you keep making new pages?” – even though they’ve only known me to have two. But I don’t expect to keep taking those people with me nor feeling like I have to answer those questions because in hindsight what does me explaining myself do when no one can feel what I feel either way?
My journey of growth is a never-ending journey. I know this because I know that I am not perfect, and I’ll never truly flourish if I don’t keep an open mind and heart for improvement. I’ll always leave a piece of me wherever I plant myself so that I can lookback and see my growth. I’ll continue to reform myself because I know the changes won’t end. But I’m more intentional about everything that I do now.
Welcome to THEE Burgeon Seed!
P.S. The meaning of “thee” is archaic or dialect from of you, as the singular object of a verb or preposition.